By Harry Minium
No matter your race, don’t let doubters dissuade you from seeking to attain your dream. You will be tested by unexpected setbacks. But if you truly work hard and believe in yourself, you will find success.
That was the message from four African American panelists who kicked off Black History Month at 51鱨վ with an hourlong discussion called “Curators of Change” on Feb. 1 in the Big Blue Room at the Ted Constant Convocation Center.
The event was the brainchild of first-year athletics employees Demel Bolden and Ron Chen. Bolden, a digital storyteller and marketing coordinator for 51鱨վ student-athlete welfare, moderated the hourlong discussion.
Chen, director of social media for 51鱨վ athletics, helped organize and promote the event.
“The goal here was honestly just to plant some seeds,” Bolden said. “We can’t change anyone’s life in one night. But we were planting seeds and showcasing positive, successful people in order that 51鱨վ students could see what change really looks like.”
More than 200 students attended, including about 100 athletes, as well as football coach Ricky Rahne and Wood Selig, 51鱨վ’s director of athletics.
Panelist Bruce Stewart, 51鱨վ’s deputy director of athletics and chief operating officer, received a law degree and master’s from The Ohio State University.
He said his position comes with an obligation to do his best every day to pass on the lessons he’s learned.
“I’m humbled by merely the opportunity to be of service to our students and student-athletes alike,” Stewart said.
“I tell people, it’s not a matter of whether you will face setbacks. It’s a matter of how you learn from that experience moving forward. You have to be dedicated and willing to make sacrifices as you stay the course in reaching your goals and aspirations.”
“We can’t change anyone’s life in one night. But we were planting seeds and showcasing positive, successful people in order that 51鱨վ students could see what change really looks like.” - Demel Bolden, event moderator
Other panelists had stories of overcoming hardships.
Antoine Bethea, a 5-foot-11 football defensive back, grew up in Newport News and excelled in his 14 years in the NFL, even after a pro scout told him he’d never make it.
Dominick Fink is a single mother who, as a cheerleader for the Jacksonville Jaguars, worked full-time and earned her degree online at 51鱨վ. She returned home to Chesapeake so that her parents could help her care for her son but hasn’t missed a beat – she is 51鱨վ’s Dynasty Dance coach and is working on her doctorate.
Imo Essien was 13 when he transferred to an elite, nearly all-white private school. He plays for the 51鱨վ basketball team.
Essien nearly quit shortly after enrolling at Bishop Lynch High School in Dallas, Texas, because he felt lost. The academics were more difficult than he expected, and he felt most people at school expected, as a Black basketball player, that he would struggle.
“I was with rich white people and the way they act, the way they talk, it was totally different,” he said, “I was intimidated. I was lost.”
He talked to his mother about quitting, and her answer was “absolutely not.”
“I thank my family for allowing me to go through that experience,” he said. “Let’s be honest here. Rich white men are in control of a lot of situations. So, if you want to be a moneymaker, if you want to be able to sit in certain rooms, you have to know how to talk to those people.”
By the end of his five years at Bishop Lynch, he was, and remains, a beloved figure.
“I could go back tomorrow, and they would welcome me with open arms,” he said.
His urged students to seek out new experiences. “And when you do, just be yourself,” he said. “Be who you are.”
Fink said that even two decades into the 21st century, you can find racial inequity on NFL cheerleading squads.
“One of my teammates (came to practice) wearing braids and you would have thought it was the end of the world,” she said. “Nobody had seen braids in the NFL.
“For a woman of color, that’s normal. So, I tell my girls here at 51鱨վ, if you want to rock your natural hair, do it because that’s who you are.”
When she was promoted to Jaguars cheerleading captain, she informed team management that everyone on the squad had hair sponsors except the women of color.
“We didn’t get the best sponsors, but at the end of the day, we were very grateful that we were finally given the opportunity to have sponsors,” she said.
Bethea went to Howard University, an HBCU in Washington, D.C., that does not have a great football tradition.
Still, he was touted as a potential pro and didn’t doubt it until he watched film with an NFL scout.
“I was very confident in my ability,” he said. “But he sat me down and then he just dogged me.
“You know, I had a dream, and my dream was to make it to the NFL. But he told me I was too small, I was too slow, not good enough. He just pulled me down.”
Bethea was so depressed that he skipped a test he was supposed to take that day. But his coaches told him to forget what the scout told him, and he finished the season strong.
He starred at the NFL combine, and the Indianapolis Colts picked him in the NFL Draft’s sixth round. He had 1,334 tackles, 25 interceptions and 80 pass deflections in his career. And he earned a Super Bowl ring in his first season with the Colts.
“All I wanted was an opportunity to play in the NFL,” he said. “And that day the scout came in, he was playing with my opportunity. From that day on I was determined to put my best foot forward every day.
“People will always doubt you. They will tell you what you can and cannot do. But you’ve always got to remind yourself that you’re that person. You must believe in yourself.”